The only fashion rule in stand-up comedy is that you shouldn’t wear shorts because they’re considered “unprofessional.” This never made sense to me. I’m allowed to joke about wearing shorts during sex, but can’t I wear a pair of high-waisted denim shorts? Right now, the temperature in New York is 90 degrees — wearing jeans feels like a prison in your pants, so I choose to ignore it. Sue me! I think this mission is made for men in cargo shorts. There is also a strange rumor that if comedians wear too trendy or revealing clothes, it will distract the audience from their jokes. Again, I didn’t buy it. Pursuing my rule-breaking nature, but lately I’ve become more interested in being trendy (I’ve been watching a lot of outfit transitions on TikTok, okay?). And conveniently, I was invited to the New York Fashion Week show with my first fancy pants.
I wake up in the morning feeling a bit like Laney Boggs in the original She’s All That (except I’m not going to prom and I’m not wearing glasses). But there was one time when I didn’t feel stressed about my outfit, because Rebecca Minkoff sent me a dress and shoes. There’s no way I can mess this up! The black dress with little sparkles sparkled in the sun, matching my expressive personality (a girl dealing with depression but having fun in group chats!). The boots (which I’m guessing are boots that know they’re cute?) have triangular toes and spike-like heels, which I admit scared the crap out of me. I’m a big fan of the raw soles trend because they’re so easy to get into, but this shoe is a prime candidate for getting stuck in a subway fence.
So I called an expensive Uber to take me 20 blocks away. At first, I felt weird walking outside looking fancy – most of my neighbors used to see me wearing a baggy shirt and stuffing my face with a cream cheese bagel – but then I remembered that nobody really cared and that was the beauty of New York City.
Fifteen minutes later, I arrived at Spring Studios. I’ve seen influencers tag this location on Instagram, so I think it’s legit. The building looks like it was made for people who work in fashion – serious on the outside, but creative on the inside. Does that make sense? Sorry, fashion people scare me a bit.
Like a deer on ice, I stepped out of an Uber in my stylish stiletto heels and hit the cobblestone street. The funniest part of fashion week is how fashion bloggers have completely monopolized the streets for photos, creating massive traffic jams. I have to say, it’s great to see a 5’3″ girl in a pink chiffon dress who is completely unafraid of being hit by a Hummer.
When I walked in, I showed my vaccination card and identification and immediately found my editor and journalist waiting for me. I awkwardly climbed the stairs and prayed that I had done my costume justice. We were directed to a room on the sixth floor and I was immediately confused. There are no models, no runways and no front row seats. Instead, large pictures of models in different outfits hung on the walls of the room. I wonder if there is any confusion. I thought, Maybe the models got stuck in NYC traffic or fell asleep? We were all there.
At that moment, Rebecca Minkoff gracefully entered. She wore a leather jacket and immediately saw the dress I was wearing, giving me a gaze from above, a quick nod and, thankfully, a smile of approval. So basically, I’m best friends with Rebecca now. A photographer asked to take a picture of us and I calmed down. I almost… fit?
My editor Claire finally spoke to the elephant in the room and asked Rebecca (politely) what the hell was going on. Rebecca sneered and said, “This is a collection of NFTs. We are creating a fashion metaverse”. Immediately, I felt lost again. What is this alien technology? I’ve heard drunk financiers at a bar discussing NFT, but never a famous fashion designer. I’m one of those people who believes that no one really knows what NFT is. Nachos for tonight? (Sorry, I’m hungry.) Can I sell my fart tweets as NFTs? Also, what the hell is the metaverse? Is it where you go when you take ayahuasca?
I was quickly distracted by a star in the room. Every fashion week has a hierarchy of important people, and everyone knows who is most important. In this case, the girl is 7 years old and claims to be the official behind-the-scenes host of fashion week. She has a team around her, and her outfits are out of this world (does anyone still say that?). I had the courage to walk up to her, even though she didn’t make eye contact with anyone. I found out her name is Taylen Biggs and she spells out her Instagram handle for me like she’s done it a thousand times (a real pro). I told her I was also hosting gigs, and she should be proud of herself because the job was really hard. She quickly replied, “No, it’s not.” Really iconic. If I can garner 10% confidence from this 7-year-old, who knows what I can accomplish. I also read in her Instagram bio that she is a philanthropist. A model citizen.
I ended up focusing on the fashion behind 3D NFTs. Models Rebecca Minkoff was fierce, wearing beaded leather jackets with cute crossbody bags to match. There is a clear New York City theme throughout, with landmarks and drawings in the background of the portraits. All women look strong, talented and trendy. There are also iPads around the room where you can buy NFTs. Who knew the iPad would do that far? I really feel like I’m witnessing the future of fashion. Leaving the show, I took a whole new look at the possibilities of fashion week. I will probably invest in Dogecoin now.